Accidental Leadership: When You Didn’t Plan to Lead

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get enough attention: accidental leadership. You know the kind - when someone ends up leading a team not because they planned it, but because the role landed in their lap.

Maybe you were a top performer and suddenly got promoted. Maybe leadership was the only way to get a raise or move forward in your job. Sound familiar?

I see this all the time in my Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Leadership sessions. People step into leadership without really wanting it—or knowing what it means to lead well.

Lots of folks call leadership skills “soft skills.” But let’s be real - there’s nothing soft about leading people. It takes focus, patience, and emotional strength. If your heart’s not in it, leadership can feel heavy. Like pushing a boulder uphill every day.

So how do you know if you’re meant for it? Here’s one question to think about:

Would you rather do the work yourself or support the people doing the work?

It sounds simple, but your answer matters. If you love getting stuff done on your own, that’s not a bad thing. But it might not fit a role that requires coaching and guiding others.

And just a heads-up, if your job includes organizing the work of other people, you're a leader. Whether your title says “manager,” “team lead,” or something else, if people count on you, you're in a leadership role.

Leaders focus on people. They check in, not just check off. They coach, support, and celebrate others. They want to see their team grow.

But what if that’s not you? What if you like working solo, but now you're leading a team?

Start by being honest with yourself. That’s step one.

Know what you’re good at, and where you might need to grow. People skills aren’t always natural, but they can be learned. They get stronger with practice—just like any other skill.

It’s not always easy. But you can do hard things - if you want to.

Talk to your team. Ask questions. Listen. Give feedback that helps, not hurts. Let them know they matter. Let them run the checklists - you focus on the check-ins.

And if all of that feels like a stretch - if it’s hard to show up, care, or invest in your team - pause and ask yourself:

Is this still the right fit for me?

Because staying stuck helps no one. Not your team. Not you.

It’s okay if leadership isn’t your thing. Just like every job isn’t for every person.

But if you do want to grow as a leader - or just figure out if this is your path - reach out. I’d love to support your leadership journey.