AI Can Write the Words. It Can't Write “You”.

Someone asked me a great question at a recent association conference. During the Q&A after my keynote, they wanted to know if I had an opinion about using AI for communication.

I lit up a little, because boy do I have an opinion! And I wish more people were thinking about this.

Here's the thing. In my DiSC communication sessions, we spend a lot of time unpacking how different styles prefer to receive information. Some people want the big picture. Others want every detail. That's why good communicators think beyond their own preferences, especially in writing.

Now add AI to the mix.

People are using AI to write emails, messages, and full pieces of personal correspondence. And I get it. These tools are impressive. The issue is not the tool itself. The issue is how people are using it.

There is a big difference between training AI on your voice using your own raw material versus typing "write me an email about XYZ" and hitting send. 

When AI is not grounded in who you are, the output is polished. Maybe even impressive. 

But it is not you.

And when the people you’re sending the message to - meet you in real life - they feel that gap. Sometimes it creates just a subtle disconnect, sometimes its palpable - either way it is felt.

I see it in recruitment all the time. A candidate uses AI to build their resume. That is usually fine. Resumes are factual records of experience. But then they use AI to write their cover letter, their follow-up emails, every touchpoint with the hiring panel. They show up to the interview and the paper version does not match the person in the chair. The brain notices the inconsistency even when we cannot name it. An uneasiness sets in that is really hard to shake.

Here is the part that matters most. AI should stretch your thinking, not replace it. It should sharpen your message, not erase your voice.

Because in real life, your style always comes through.

You can flex. You can adapt your message to meet someone where they are. That is good communication. That is what DiSC teaches. But adjusting the level of detail you present for your audience’s preference is completely different from presenting yourself as something you are not.

When you hand AI the wheel without giving it real context about who you are and how you think, it fills in the blanks. Sometimes what it produces sounds great - but it’s still not you.  And sometimes you get output that reads like it came from a very smart robot with no opinion and no soul.

The bottom line - AI is powerful. Use it to support your voice. Use it to challenge your thinking, catch your blind spots, and help you communicate more clearly. But keep yourself in the driver's seat. Because when the words on the screen do not match the person behind them, everyone notices.

Intention matters. In communication and connection, it always has.